From cb6d975144bf8ea40be608e7ab1c56d57c297766 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Thorsten Date: Sun, 24 Apr 2022 10:21:08 +0200 Subject: [PATCH] insults to injury --- distbot/bot/worker.py | 2 + distbot/plugins/fun.py | 13 ++++- distbot/plugins/insults.txt | 97 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 3 files changed, 110 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) create mode 100644 distbot/plugins/insults.txt diff --git a/distbot/bot/worker.py b/distbot/bot/worker.py index 56946d0..7aad677 100644 --- a/distbot/bot/worker.py +++ b/distbot/bot/worker.py @@ -5,6 +5,8 @@ import threading from collections import deque, defaultdict import pika +import pika.exceptions + from functools import partial from distbot.common.action import Action, send_action diff --git a/distbot/plugins/fun.py b/distbot/plugins/fun.py index 4ecb568..e3db542 100644 --- a/distbot/plugins/fun.py +++ b/distbot/plugins/fun.py @@ -148,7 +148,7 @@ class Selfreaction(Worker): binding_keys = ["me.#.{}.#".format(conf_get("bot_nickname"))] description = "reacts to being talked about" - me_replys = [ + me_replies = [ 'are you that rude to everybody?', 'oh, thank you...', 'do you really think that was nice?', @@ -156,9 +156,18 @@ class Selfreaction(Worker): "excuse me, but I'm already late for an appointment" ] + try: + insults = [i.strip() for i in open("insults.txt", "r").readlines() if i] + except: + insults = me_replies + def parse_body(self, msg): sender = get_nick_from_message(msg) - return Action(msg='{}: {}'.format(sender, random.choice(self.me_replys))) + if sender in conf_get("meanies"): + replys = self.insults + else: + replys = self.me_replies + return Action(msg='{}: {}'.format(sender, random.choice(replys))) class Doctor(Worker): diff --git a/distbot/plugins/insults.txt b/distbot/plugins/insults.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c1d47e1 --- /dev/null +++ b/distbot/plugins/insults.txt @@ -0,0 +1,97 @@ +If I throw a stick, will you leave? +You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. +If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off. +You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. +Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. +You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. +Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them. +I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying. +I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me. +I only take you everywhere I go just so I don’t have to kiss you goodbye. +Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. +Your face makes onions cry. +The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. +You look so pretty. Not at all gross today. +It’s impossible to underestimate you. +I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you. +I’m not a nerd; I’m just smarter than you. +Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job. +Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality. +You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room. +You’re a conversation starter. Not when you are around but once you leave. +I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash. +Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows. +You are the human version of period cramps. +If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. +You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day. +I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you. +Don’t worry — the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. +I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull. +I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? +OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS! +I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil. +You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. +When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would ya? +Bye, hope to see you never. +Complete this sentence for me: “I never want to see you ____!” +Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn’t care about? Yeah… that is now. +I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you. +N’Sync said it best: “BYE, BYE, BYE.” +Wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. +How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation? +Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh? +You’re cute. Like my dog. He also always chases his tail for entertainment. +Someday you’ll go far… and I really hope you stay there. +Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? +You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still. +Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult. +I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste. +Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology. +Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water. +*Thumbs down* +That sounds like a "you" problem. +Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. +Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck. +“I’ve been called worse things by better men.” +Well, the jerk store called. They’re running out of you. +I’m busy right now; can I ignore you another time? +You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off? +Some people are like slinkies — not really good for much, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. +You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. +Of course I’m talking like an idiot… how else could you understand me? +Are you almost done with all of this drama? Because I need an intermission. +I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one. +Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. +Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick. +I guess if you actually ever spoke your mind, you’d really be speechless. +Since you know it all, you should know when to shut up. +Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list. +I treasure the time I don’t spend with you. +I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. +The only work-life balance I want is being away from you. +When you start talking, I stop listening. +You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. +If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. +I think I’ve seen you before, but I’m pretty sure I had to pay admission last time. +I’m jealous of people that don’t know you! +I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. +You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous. +I’d like to help you out - which way did you come in? +I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. +Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either. +You are proof God has a sense of humor. +If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. +You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen. +I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. +I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. +I believed in evolution until I met you. +I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. +I find the fact that you lived this long both surprising and disappointing. +I’m genuinely excited to never interact with you again. +You have a great face for radio! +If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, I’d turn back around. +Somewhere somehow you are robbing a village of an idiot. +Somewhere, a tree is crying because it worked so hard to make that oxygen you’re wasting. +You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things! +If you’re here, who’s home disappointing your parents? +I don’t have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. -- 2.39.2