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+If I throw a stick, will you leave?
+You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
+If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
+You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
+Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
+You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
+Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
+I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
+I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
+I only take you everywhere I go just so I don’t have to kiss you goodbye.
+Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
+Your face makes onions cry.
+The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded.
+You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
+It’s impossible to underestimate you.
+I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you.
+I’m not a nerd; I’m just smarter than you.
+Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents’ job.
+Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.
+You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
+You’re a conversation starter. Not when you are around but once you leave.
+I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
+Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
+You are the human version of period cramps.
+If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
+You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
+I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.
+Don’t worry — the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
+I may love to shop, but I will never buy your bull.
+I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
+OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
+I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil.
+You have miles to go before you reach mediocre.
+When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would ya?
+Bye, hope to see you never.
+Complete this sentence for me: “I never want to see you ____!”
+Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn’t care about? Yeah… that is now.
+I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you.
+N’Sync said it best: “BYE, BYE, BYE.”
+Wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation.
+How many licks till I get to the interesting part of this conversation?
+Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh?
+You’re cute. Like my dog. He also always chases his tail for entertainment.
+Someday you’ll go far… and I really hope you stay there.
+Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
+You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.
+Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
+I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste.
+Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
+Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
+*Thumbs down*
+That sounds like a "you" problem.
+Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
+Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.
+“I’ve been called worse things by better men.”
+Well, the jerk store called. They’re running out of you.
+I’m busy right now; can I ignore you another time?
+You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
+Some people are like slinkies — not really good for much, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
+You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.
+Of course I’m talking like an idiot… how else could you understand me?
+Are you almost done with all of this drama? Because I need an intermission.
+I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
+Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
+Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
+I guess if you actually ever spoke your mind, you’d really be speechless.
+Since you know it all, you should know when to shut up.
+Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list.
+I treasure the time I don’t spend with you.
+I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch.
+The only work-life balance I want is being away from you.
+When you start talking, I stop listening.
+You look like something that came out of a slow cooker.
+If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
+I think I’ve seen you before, but I’m pretty sure I had to pay admission last time.
+I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!
+I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes.
+You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.
+I’d like to help you out - which way did you come in?
+I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
+Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.
+You are proof God has a sense of humor.
+If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
+You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.
+I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
+I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
+I believed in evolution until I met you.
+I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
+I find the fact that you lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
+I’m genuinely excited to never interact with you again.
+You have a great face for radio!
+If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, I’d turn back around.
+Somewhere somehow you are robbing a village of an idiot.
+Somewhere, a tree is crying because it worked so hard to make that oxygen you’re wasting.
+You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!
+If you’re here, who’s home disappointing your parents?
+I don’t have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you.
projects / urlbot-v3.git / commitdiff